Cello Diaries: I’m Giving It All Up for Cello; Why My Mom Said Okay

Music is my greatest passion and I’m sure of that. While I have written books that have sent me through a range of emotions, like When the Heart Breaks definitely had me laughing and crying, and on rare occasions I have read books that have done the same, music is the only art that has the ability to completely consume me in a plethora of emotions. Depending on when I hear a song it can make me smile, reminisce, dream and sometimes even cry. So when I told my mother that I’m giving everything up for cello she said, and I quote, “okay.”

She didn’t say, don’t do it. She didn’t say, are you sure? She didn’t try to discourage me at all. I told her I was going to let everybody know that she said it was okay for me to do so. She reminded me that she did not say that. I reminded her that as her daughter it is my responsibility to decipher her words and she said okay therefore she said it was okay for me to do such a thing.

She assured me that she doesn’t think anybody has the right to tell anybody else how to live their life. I agree with her there. My life, my choice. But I also assured her the only reason she said “okay” was because she knew I wasn’t serious. She agreed with me on that.

I wasn’t serious. I’m not giving everything up for cello, but if I were a better cellist, if I thought I could make it work, I would give it all up for cello, for music, to be a cellist. But alas, I’m still far away from any of my cello goals. I have a long way to go. Maybe when I’m eighty I’ll be able to give it all up, go into a recording studio and put my music out there, but now is not that time. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever get there. I’m getting old. I started late. And while I am a strong believer (for everybody else anyway) that it’s never too late until you’re dead, I am at an age in my life when I wonder if the musical dreams I have will ever be a reality. I hope so, but I don’t know.

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4 comments

  1. Capri,
    You are never to old to do something you love. I’m stunned and amazed that you are taking such a life changing step. Knowing you, you have thought it through and feel this is the right decision for you. 🙂
    I expect to see and hear some of your music in the very future.

    Never give up on yourself. Believe in you and it will happen. Best of luck my friend.

    Belinda

    • Oh well I can’t give everything up yet. I wish. I would love to spend all my time with cello but I do still have to eat so other work must prevail. Thanks for the vote of confidence. :).

  2. you are fortunate to have a mother who supports your plans, hyperbolic or even long-term.

    You can dedicate quite a chunk of your life to the cello, without complete sacrifice if you wished to, it’ll always be there for you.

    best of luck in your cello studies and endeavors.

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