Friday Dish: Avoiding the Negative, Embracing the Positive

Perhaps it is less about avoidance and more about not letting the negative people pull you down with them. I’m probably what some people would call pessimistic, while I would call myself a realist. “It could happen,” is my motto, so I plan for it–it being the worst of a situation of course. I can say that my prepping for the worst has actually saved my literal life, and my emotional health once or twice.

However, while I’m a realist I am not negative when it comes to other people. I don’t go around looking for flaws in people because quite frankly I have enough of my own to look at and work on fixing if I can. I prefer to be positive for other people and instead of telling them they’ll never achieve their goals, or they’ll never be good at anything simply because I would have done things differently, isn’t my style. Trying to tell people not to support somebody else, or to turn their back on them simply because I don’t think what they’re doing is good enough isn’t my style either. To be honest with you I really don’t like people who are like that–the people who will do anything and everything to tear somebody else down. People like that really should look at their own life and try to build themselves up so they can stop trying to tear other people down.

When I was on the path to becoming a psychologist I had a tendency to think people could be helped if only they really wanted to be helped. Now, however, I don’t think that. I think people who habitually nitpick at other people’s perceived faults and try to tear them down are just miserably pathetic people who will never be helped unless they help themselves. They are so unhappy in their own failures that they feel the need to convince somebody else they’re not good enough. For people like that I feel sorry for them because no matter what they achieve in life they will never be satisfied and in that dissatisfaction they will always try to find a way to bring other people down to their level of misery.

So when I say “avoiding the negative,” I really mean avoid letting it pull you down, depress you, hurt you. Learn from negatives; move on beyond them and embrace the positives in your life and the world around you.

I have a tendency, while being positive for others, to see mostly the negative side of me. I have been working on that. In the past I have looked at my life and thought it certainly wasn’t roses, but you know it was. Just like a rose there are thorns—the prickly bits that cut, hurt, and sometimes cause us to bleed, but there is also the beauty that sits on top. You can get to the beauty, but sometimes you have to experience a thorn or two in the ascent. In life there are the small accomplishments, the budding possibilities and sometimes those possibilities bloom into success–success for the individual, not what somebody else deems it to be.

The positives I’m looking at for me today are:

  • I love what I do. It keeps a roof over my head and food on the table so I’d say that’s the best work related positive ever.
  • I may not be a master cellist, but I am a thousand times farther with my learning than I was when I started playing. And, God willing, I have the rest of my life to improve on my skills.
  • I have relative good health.
  • I have parents who love me.
  • I’m constantly trying to be the best human being that I can be–one filled with compassion, love, honesty and a willingness to help build others up instead of trying to tear them down.

Those are just a few positives on my growing list. When others try to tear me down I can look back at those and instead of looking at what I don’t have, I can look at what I do have, who I am, and the positives I already own in my own life. So embrace the positives in life; avoid letting the negatives bring you down because the negatives are not worth the positives they keep you from. What are some of your positives? Make a list, mental or otherwise, and refer back to them when the negatives try to take over.

That’s all for this time. More Dish next week, same time, same place. Have a fabulously wonderful weekend you all :).




  1. The Fear-Prone Personality consistently anticipates that the worst will happen and may believe the world is out to get them. They also tend to feel that life is out of control. If it’s storming, they are thinking about the worst case scenario, like tornadoes. If there child is out of their sight for a few seconds, their mind immediately jumps to thoughts of kidnapping or death. They actually expect loss and harm. The principal emotions felt and buried by Fear-Prone Personalities are fear and anger. If you are a Fear-Prone Personality, you don’t view yourself as being angry because the anger is covered by the obvious surface emotions of worry and fear.

    • I studied psychology to become a psychologist as well and one thing I notice is that trying to apply a general rule to all never works out so well. Some people are fear prone simply because they are afraid of dying and that really doesn’t bring in anger, just a willingness to live as long as possible. Of course there are many reasons for fear. Thank you for sharing your take on it.

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