Wednesdays with the Arts: If Only

It certainly wasn’t a wearable arts art-filled weekend. I didn’t get much of anything done on the corset. Oh sure, I cut out the lining that I forgot to cut out, but that’s it. You see writing and edits pretty much took over and I was having so much fun that I kept going, “another hour and then maybe I’ll stop.” Another hour turned into an all day writing love fest and I didn’t get to my sewing schedule at all this weekend. So basically I have no progress to show you on that. And even though I did get a little knitting done it’s nothing substantial enough to blog about. Today I’m going to talk the visual arts instead. I love art in many forms.

I was sitting there looking at digital graphics and it made me remember something that I have been saying for years. I wish I could draw. I can paint a landscape, but I can’t draw. Sure I drew a peach…mostly rounded 😉 and I can do hearts and sometimes the paper doll look if you just want the head and hair. Oh and let’s not forget that I can draw one fabulous stick figure. Oh yeah, I have skills–not. I want to be able to draw people. I have all these ideas in my head and I would love, absolutely love, to be able to draw them. But I think sometimes no matter how much we want to be able to do something there’s really just no hope of being able to do it. Maybe drawing is more than just a learned skill. Maybe drawing is partially ingrained within our creative senses. My brother can draw…or at least he used to be able to. Yet he does nothing with that skill. I have so much I could, and would, do with it if I had the skill and I can’t draw.

Of course thinking of what I can’t do made me think about the things I do, and of course, as always, I found myself going, “I’m not really good at anything.” My mother hates when I say that, but it’s true. I can develop pictures in the darkroom, but I wouldn’t say that I’m making anything all that spectacular; it’s just okay. And I can sort of play cello, but it’s not that great either. And I can paint, but it’s really not to where I would like my skills to be. It’s just blah with the occasional “that’s okay,” in my opinion. And then I realized something, if I did it I will always think it’s not good enough. I went to see my dad a while ago and I saw these framed paintings and I asked “where did you get those? Those are really good.” He looked at me and said, “you sent them to me.” That’s when I realized, those were mine…and they were actually some of the first landscapes I had done. Clearly the way I look at my artwork when I know I did it is with a severely critical eye. It’s never good enough because it could always be better. I need to work on that. I really do, and I really will. However, I have been this way my entire life so I don’t expect it to change overnight. What I would like to change overnight is my ability to draw. I want to draw…I really, really do. But maybe I should just be satisfied with what I can do and stop chasing after a skill that maybe I’m not meant to be able to do…but where would be the fun in that ;)?

Here’s one of my photography pieces from my first brush with IR photography. I have all of my darkroom equipment at home, but there’s no room where I can setup and get to work…but maybe when we move I’ll be able to find a place with a bathroom that does not have a big window in it and then I can pull the enlarger back in the bathroom and make it my darkroom for the day whenever I want…now that would be great :).

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3 comments

  1. The trick is to separate the critical eye from the judgmental eye. There’s nothing wrong with knowing how something can be improved, but you shouldn’t criticise *yourself* because of it.

    That being said, I can’t draw at all. I hear that it takes several hundred hours to get good at anything and as much as I’d like to be able to draw, I just can’t be bothered to put that much effort into it. I’d rather be refining the skills I *do* have. 😀

    • Thanks for commenting :). You are right. You should definitely focus on improving the skills you have if it is your passion and you enjoy it. It’s really the only way to continue to improve.

      I’m constantly working on the skills I have that are a part of my passion for writing and music. Everything else is more of a “like to do,” instead of a “love to do,” type of activity which is probably why sewing and knitting always take a backseat to writing and music. Music takes a backseat to writing, but writing takes a backseat to none. Alas, there are only so many hours in the day so focus is always a good thing ;).

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