This is by far the longest dress ever–and no, I am not talking about length of fabric. I’m talking about how long it’s taking me to finish this thing. Yes, I am busy. Yes, I have a lot on my plate. Yes, I could technically still work on it at least a little each day, but do I? No.
Desire Means Everything
Just like most other things in life, desire means everything. My desire to sew and knit just aren’t high enough to make me sew or knit after I finish my workday–the one that involves my cleaning and cooking, studying for class, trying to write and edit, and be the chauffeur as the only driver in the house. I just look at my sewing table and think, ‘what a mess, I should probably put it all away somewhere else.’ But I don’t put it away because I know once I fold up the material this dress will end up getting lost in sewing limbo where years from now I’ll open a crate or bag and find a pin laced garment that still needs to be finished. Let me just say finding those garments with my fingers instead of my eyes is not a good thing.
My mom tells me I need a vacation. Between all that I have to do personally and all the stress of dealing with crazy neighbors that require police involvement to keep them from tampering with our mailbox and stuffing animals in it, I just think I’m dealing with a lot. Anger being the key thing right now, and of course it doesn’t help that I haven’t actually had a vacation in years. I haven’t even had a real day off that didn’t involve running errands for other people, or cleaning, or cooking, or editing and writing, or yard work. So I do get why she says I need a vacation. She says I should go stay with my dad for a few weeks so I can stop worrying so much. I told her 1. I don’t have the money to get me there. 2. I would still be worried, but I would be worried about her because the men across the street and the lady next door won’t leave us alone. We have a no trespass order now so maybe that will help since if they violate it now the cops will actually do something more than show up to tell us they can’t do anything.
Stress…Me? No…Well, Maybe
I think the weight of stress can sometimes kill certain artistic endeavors. By the end of the day I don’t care about dresses that need to be sewn. I just want to go to bed. So I am sorry, but I don’t have anything to really share this week. I’ll try to work on the dress this weekend and if I finish I’ll share a picture of the finished product next time.
Have a great Wednesday you all.